I'm a paper cut survivor.
I live in constant fear of being shit on by a bird
when i find myself in times of trouble
ellen degeneres comes to me
"so what are your plans for after college?"
i will dismantle the establishment board by board
hey there delilah what’s it like in new york city i’m a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty yes you do
i installed a camera in your room
i’m watching you
“you’re denying it so it must be true!”
NO IM DENYING IT BECAUSE ITS FALSE MOTHERFUCKER